The Gift of Uncertainty

At the end of 2016, I felt hopeful and optimistic. I had clear plans and goals for 2017.

I returned from my holiday in India on the 3rd of January and was busy with family commitments up until last weekend. Now it is time to execute my plans and achieve the goals I set out for myself. Instead of feeling positive and excited, I feel scared and uncertain. At the end of 2016, I could feel the fire inside me burn brightly. I felt a sense of purposeful drive. My aim was clear, my motivation tangible.

As I sit here, typing this post, I feel nervous and hesitant. Where have these feelings of self-doubt come from? I pray it is just a temporary phase and that it will pass.

Over the past few years, I have been trying to find my way in terms of building a career as well as making a positive contribution to society. I am willing to admit that I have come a REALLY long way. I have done many personal development courses over the last few years and I have learnt a lot. In the process of all this learning and growing, Grow in Love was born. I can acknowledge myself for these accomplishments however because all that I’ve done has not yet started generating an income I feel as if it has all been for nothing. I am guilty, as I am sure many of you can relate, to measuring my success against monetary outcomes.

When I ponder on this and allow myself to carefully evaluate my thought process, I realise that I am being overly harsh with myself. All the knowledge that I have gained over the years has benefited not only me but everyone around me. As I have shifted and grown so has my family. My parents without ever having read a book on personal development make the most surprisingly emotionally intelligent comments. I listen in awe and I am amazed how they’ve unintentionally grown. I wonder if these positive changes would have occurred had my journey of self awareness and discovery not taken place.

When a person sets about healing themselves and aiming for an inside out journey of self discovery, growth and development, it creates a ripple effect. As they release pent up negativity, grow, evolve and shift in a more positive direction, so do the people around them.

By aiming to be more positive, accepting and understanding of ourselves and others and by healing what is hurting within us, we contribute positively to all those around us. That is really amazing, isn’t it?

As is my nature, I accept that I will infrequently continue to have moments when I will in my own state of unawareness, judge myself. When this happens I will reread this post and remind myself to continue on this journey of growth and improvement. After all, I am a work in progress, just like everyone else.

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1 Comment

  • Farida 4 years ago Reply

    Love your blog Ayesha. Everything will fall into place when the time is right, and I am confident it’s your time to shine bright 💗

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